I wrote this piece for the Sanmar Group’s in-house magazine – Matrix. This was in connection with Madras Week last year.
Lets face it- this is a city that takes itself very seriously. You can see it in the way people drive around, clutching a cell-phone, talking into it all the time, taking time off only to abuse others on the road. You can also see it the way parents push their children into ten thousand different activities – keyboard, classical music, dance, drums, mental arithmetic using the abacus, tennis, swimming- all in the absolute certainty that they have given birth to a David Brian, an MS Subbulakshmi, a Kumari Kamala, a Sivamani, a Srinivasa Ramanujan, a Federer and a Spitz, all rolled into one of course. And you can see them walking up and down the length of the swimming pool forgetting that they cannot swim themselves, giving instructions to the poor child to now breathe, to now lift its arm, to kick its legs and now not to breathe, not to lift its arms and not to kick. As for academics, what is a child for if not to score that acme of Chennai perfection – the dreaded centum?
At one time centum was given as a blessing to all children with due reminders that everyone in the family, ever since centum was created, have scored only centums and nothing else but. Centum is a word that is hardly heard outside our city. But then so are so many other words used here. Have you ever reflected on how most words in Madras bhashai are actually not from Tamil? Thus you have naina, dubbu, duddu and dindu which are from Telugu, Peter, Mary, assault, regent (actually decent) and feed (speed) which are from the Queen’s own language and bejaar and galeej which are from Urdu. And what about kasmaalam which is actually from Sanskrit? We also have phrases from Hindi but they are crudely anatomical and no in-house journal of a corporate house can publish such things.
But to get back to the centum and its awful consequences. Somewhere along the line, most parents realise that their child will have to drop all its extra-curricular activities and focus on the centum. And having achieved that the child is shipped out to foreign lands. It becomes an NRI. And the parent becomes an IAS or an IA&AS. The former stands for Indian Ayah Service and the latter for Indian Ayah & Aduppumadai (kitchen) Service for which the parent is invited each summer to overseas lands to take care of the grandchildren during summer vacation, cook meals and also fill the deep freeze before leaving. While there the parents acquire sneakers and ten dollar T Shirts with slogans like “I am hot” or “TCP/IP certified” and come back home to don them each morning for walks. And the conversation during these walks invariably centres on “my son who is in Abu Dubai (wherever that is) or my daughter in Sunnyvale.” The children come back once in a while too and you can spot them a mile off. Not just by their sneakers and the ubiquitous water-bottle but also because of the time warp in which they are when it comes to India. To them Chennai is still Madras, with Safire theatre, Jaffer’s Ice cream and Moore Market. Their idea of cost of living has also rather unfortunately remained the same and so when they go shopping, what with their tendency to multiply/divide every price tag into their home currencies, they buy very little.
The brain-drain that sent these people away has also caused problems for Chennai’s bungalows. These vast houses, with huge gardens, plenty of rooms (but hardly any bedrooms) and one toilet, were meant for families of twenty and more and a domestic staff of like strength. Most residences like these also had the unmarried/ slightly dim-witted poor cousin (ammanji/atthan) who was general dogsbody. He worked the water-pump, did the shopping, tended to the sick and looked after grandmother when she had her spells. But over the years everyone migrated and as for dim-witted cousin, his children too have moved on and he now lives in a swank gated-community with an outlandish name like Abhirami Beverly or Alamelu Regency. And he looks down on you for still clinging on to your crumbling bungalow. And you are forced to clean your own water tank though you have vertigo. And when you go out, you have to make sure that you have locked all the windows and doors and switched off the water pump, or have you? Doubts begin assailing you halfway through the movie or the concert and so it is time to go home and check.
And so one day, the old bungalow is flattened and a multi-storeyed block of flats comes up in its place. No more closing of multiple windows or worrying about the leak from the back verandah. But then one day, a fly-over comes up just next to the third floor window. Through it, commuters can look in to see what is cooking for the day, who is using a size 36 brief and how often the interior of your flat is dusted. But then, very few are bothered. They are speaking seriously into their phones, even as they drive on, pausing only to abuse the others. But that is where we started did we not?
Brilliant post sir.
@Ravages – Arse licking is also typical Madrasi trait. Its the way it is. Its better to be called a Madrasi than a Chennaite…sounds like termite or a disease. I am a Madrasi and proud of it. Long live Madras.
hahaha 🙂 nice one
Loved it!
A very refreshing and accurate description of the transition that Chennai is going through over decades. I particularly liked the going soft on superlatives, making a point and moving on and, of course, good flowing English, that reaffirms our love for the Queen’s language.
I was in the Army and hence extra curricular activities (just having fun) was valued uppermost in the dozen or more institutions they went through. My attempts at taking a stand that children must enjoy their school / college days too is always met with a fiery response, from both the parents and their brainwashed children.
Good show. Please do force yourself into writing more often, preferably on diverse topics.
ASW
wow….on spot…
Well it was interesting to read. However being an NRI, I am offended with “IAS or an IA&AS. The former stands for Indian Ayah Service and the latter for Indian Ayah & Aduppumadai (kitchen) Service for which the parent is invited each summer to overseas lands to take care of the grandchildren during summer vacation, cook meals and also fill the deep freeze before leaving.”
Even though we never got the opportunity to keep our parents with those title. Maybe the author might also want to think of a term like LAS or LA&AS as LOCAL AYAH for parents who already are helping someone or the other in the family back there. And I also want the author to think on the prespective during emergencies and living this far this is the only way NRI’s can make their children enjoy their grandparents, which they miss here and also when they see their friends(Americans) bring their grandparents for all occassions and well for BABY SITTING TOO!!!!!!!!!!.
Hey
the article started out well and was funny. Lot of stereotypical scenarios….difficult to swallow. Especially the NRI comments seemed strange. Parents help their kids with baby sitting and cooking regardless of whether they are in India or abroad. The word Ayah to describe them was very offensive.
The writer should probably use his/her skills to write a more positive and realistic piece.
Insightful and brilliant. I am a NRI who has gone through the grind…the swimming to the cellphone. IAS? it really depends on which part of the world one is in. Though I agree many aging parents are tortured and roped in with guilt. One thing that is sure Chennai is fast changing and for the better. Be it the way we approach parenting or creating JV opportunities for our ammanji cousins to pay for their newly acquired condos.
Wonderful piece. Funny too…. if you can laugh at your selves that is. I had a hearty laugh all through !!!
& the NRI children bit is sooooooo true. I keep hearing it from a lot of my friends & relatives . & I keep telling my children who are nearly at that stage that I am not going to be doing baby sitting or maid service in Paris or London or Sunnyvale, where ever they are !!!
The article is very good. I also agree with Chitra Shastry that we keep hearing about the NRI comments. Most of friends here say when they go abroad to their children they feel that they become IAS and IAAS and are under house arrest because only on week-ends they can dream of going out with their children. That too, it depends on the son’s/daughter’s/son-in-law’s mood. They find their stay there very suffocating and uneasy because of these things and on return to India, they vouch never to go again.
If I may make a few observations?
The major differences between elder people staying with their grandchildren in India vs US are summarised below, in their words:
India: You can walk across anywhere to any neighbor.
US: Absolutely not. You need to be driven around on weekends.
India: There is no pre-defined set of people you may interact with.
US: We will select them for you.
India: You can work every machine.
US: Touch it and you will spoil it.
India: Namaskarams and fifteen minutes of polite enquiries from every guest.
US. Hi and move away.
India: Servant maids behave line one.
US: They arrive in cars, ignore every advice and complain that sambar stinks.
India: Grandchildren beg for your tales and stories.
US: If they get to you, you can’t understand what they speak.
India: A kovil (temple) at every hundred yards, even if small.
US: Massive temples just 200 KM away.
India: Daughter-in-law asks what preparation pleases you.
US: Daughter-in-law asks why the correct topping has not been ordered for her children’s pizza.
India: Hit a wrong number and you can chat pleasantly for an hour.
US: Ht a wrong number and ten cops are pointing guns at you.
All yours
True. Madras is transformed to Chennai. But don’t you see almost all cities in our Country has transformed into concrete jungle?
It is absolutely true. It is the area which drives every human being in it like a predefined, pre-programmed machine…. I don’t want to be a machine!