Each time she thinks that the Man from Madras Musings is idling, his good lady, also known as She Who Must Be Obeyed, has a habit of sending him off on an errand or two. And many a time these involve MMM having to go some Government department or the other. The most recent visit had MMM calling at a local registrar’s office, with the good lady leading him along. MMM cannot say that he enjoys these visits but then he does learn a thing or two about life.
All registrar offices in Chennai, at least the ones MMM is familiar with, appear to have been designed by architects who specialise in dungeons, catacombs and crypts. The principal aim appears to be to minimise sunlight and air as much as possible. In addition, the number of seats available for the visiting public has to be one hundredth of the number of people who come there on business. In this last aspect, MMM is of the view that the general public is also to blame. Any business at the registrar is viewed as a family outing and involves apart from the signatory and the witnesses, an uncle or two, an aunt whose sole job is to mutter prayers, a cousin who is forever on the phone, the obligatory tout and the general hanger-on. And so, the seats at a registrar’s office are always at a premium.
This was an office for registration for marriages, apart from sale of property and other such mundane matters. In order to provide a wedding hall like atmosphere, the powers that be had provided for piped music of the pipe music variety. This was consistently off key as it is in most weddings as well and this, added to the usual chaos that abounded, really made the place akin to a marriage venue. Every once in a while an officious voice thundered that those who did not have any work at the registrar’s ought to wait outside. This did not have any effect and the numbers kept increasing. Droves of brides and grooms came in, were sworn in as man and wife, and left to live happily ever after. MMM half expected the registrar, seated in all his majesty in a cage of sorts, to sprinkle grains of rice on the newlyweds, apart from singing something like the Voice That Breathed O’er Eden.
It was MMM’s turn to meet the grand panjandrum and since MMM had long been in a state of happy wedlock, his was a more humdrum matter. The registrar stopped smiling and having looked at MMM’s identity card asked MMM as to why the holder of the card had not come in person. It was only then that MMM realised that the regulation photo on the card did not resemble him at all. MMM, left to himself, would have slunk away at this stage but not so his good lady who having fixed the registrar with a beady eye said that this was MMM’s card. The ma wilted and then asked MMM to state his business. This having been done, MMM was asked to present his papers to a clerk.
It was there that MMM came across the next knotty issue. The matter concerned inheritance and MMM had filled in that he was the only child of his parents. The clerk clearly disbelieved it. The form had space for the names of at least eight siblings and so he felt MMM was wasting paper. He cleared his throat and asked MMM if he, MMM, was withholding information on siblings because, he, MMM did not get along with them. MMM denied this. Whereupon the clerk went off to the registrar and two confabulated, periodically looking in MMM’s direction. The clerk was soon back. It was ok he said if MMM had fought with his siblings but it was not done to withhold any inheritance from them. MMM once again reiterated that such was not the case. The clerk then asked MMM to give a signed declaration to this effect, which MMM gladly did, just to escape the claustrophobic atmosphere of the place. Coming away, MMM reflected on how our bureaucracy can create a complication where none existed. And claim to solve it by a mere declaration.
You must pen your thoughts and experiences in the form of a fictional novel! Sincerely, it will be a best seller!!🙏🏼
In some other country, that did simple things to help citizens and their communities, if majority of the people thronging the Registrar’s office in a big metro such as Chennai were those associated with nupitals, will they not have a separate office for them and decongest the existing office ? Perhaps, the concern would be that, the new office would not be a preferred posting for bureaucrats since the currency generating abilities would be limited for the “impoverished” (of character and not greed) but the abilities of these men and women to extract the dough out of even the dead are so innovative and effective that they should think of it as “diversification with spin off benefits” to use corporate jargon, knowing fully well that all including the political masters at the top would all stand to gain.
As to the buildings being dingy and dark, the simple question is that can shady deals be done in the open ?
Lovely piece, narrated with great humour. The reality is of course quite sinister. I would think that an average citizen would be happiest if he could somehow minimise interactions with the Babu-log. Here’s one bad experience I had:
https://kowieskorner.wordpress.com/2014/05/23/aswathaama-hatha-kunjaraha/